Shenantics

Colored People Time:

Do you often find yourself late to everything, even if you planned it out yourself?

Do your friends tell to arrive 30 minutes early just so you might actually show up on time?

Are you a minority?

If you answered yes to these questions you suffer from CPT (colored people’s time). As a fellow sufferer I understand that despite what others may think this is not something you can control. It is just who we are and others will just have to accept this. What follows is a brief breakdown on CPT and ways alleviate some of the symptoms.

Colored people’s time is an ancient affliction that affects those “of color.” These people “of color” are perpetually late to everything, no matter how early they try to get ready time will just slip away. Now before I give folks the wrong impression, CPT is not to be confused with the cliché “fashionably late”. This phrase is only used by those that think they are cool and are only late for 1 of 3 reasons.

1. They do it purposefully in order to try and convey some sense of coolness they don’t possess

2. The Ford POS they drive would not start… again

3. The bus was late.

Real sufferers of CPT are never late on purpose; they are merely victims of the bitch we call Time. There are a few out there that abuse CPT. They make themselves late, or worse their friends as well, simply to “get to the next save point”, play “just one more level” in a video game, watch one more youtube video or update “one little thing” on their facebook or myspace page. These folks disgust me and should be dragged out to the desert, castrated and beaten with a cactus.

To those that suffer from CPT the only advice I can offer is to prepare as far in advance as possible and hire a personal assistant to help you stay on track.

- Sean “Motherfuckin” Harvey